As you guys know, I'm a real good athlete. I train like I'm supposed to just about every day and the results (a.k.a. my guns and speed) pretty much speak for themselves. Here's the thing though, the American Gladiators not only train like me, but they get to train against each other.
That's when I realized that I need a training partner. I was gonna just start calling up Gladiators for a challenge, but I'm not sure I'm ready just yet. Also, if I am ready, I don't want to beat up too many guys on the show or they'll probably not let me on the show. So, I figured that I need to find someone else who I can train with and compete against who is as tough a guy as me.
That's why I put this on Craig's List, which is like a free place to get stuff and people for stuff on a website. Here's my link for my listing:
If you see this and you're interested in getting down and sweating hard, send me an email. But no weirdos, okay? I'm not trying to make friends; I'm trying to get on a TV show.
This is the picture I used. I wanted to use a no nonsense photo to scare off the chumps.
The word of the day is "improvisation." That means when you improvise things. Let me give you an example, if I'm walking down the street and I decide, "Hey, screw this! I'm running," and I start running... BOOM! I just improvised the street into my own personal gym.
Here's the deal. I'm a busy guy and I've got a lot going on in my life. I mean, I've got a cat...
Also, I'm obviously in training for American Gladiators to be the next American Gladiator. So, that's two things and they both pretty much take up my whole day, every day. Also, I sleep and eat and go to the bathroom all the time. Actually, ever since I started eating so much steak and beers all the time, I've been going to the bathroom A LOT!
Improvisation is what people do when they want to do something that makes whatever they're doing better or do two things where most people would do one thing. Check this out:
Here you see me improvising a bunch of stuff. First of all, I'm improvising because I'm using beers for a thing that it's not usually used for, which is drinking it. No way! I'm definitely gonna drink it, but since I have to take it home anyway, I'm gonna do beer curls! Can you see my guns? Those didn't come from lifting wine coolers like some pansy! Nope, I'm talking about all American, ice cold beers in cardboard boxes. That's how you get into the kind of shape that I'm in, which is great shape.
Another thing I improvise is that I have a port-o-john in my yard that I use for two things:
1. As a port-o-john (like I said, with the amount of fuel a.k.a. beer and steak that I eat, you need to have a backup john ready to go at all times just in case your regular john in the house can't take the beating I have ready to go after a long day of training), 2. As a place to gather my thoughts.
That's not completely fair though, because, to be fair, I do a lot of gathering my thoughts while I'm using the port-o-john for its primary function.
Anyway, work on some of these beer curls that I'm demonstrating for you in this video. You could use normal dumbbells for curls, but then you couldn't drink them afterwards. That's why I'm gonna be the next American Gladiator and not some fitness whiz kid like Billy Blanks from that Thailand exercise crap.
I wanted to let you know that we're taking this computer stuff into the 20th century! Not only do I have this website where I let you guys know about my training and my great ideas, I also have a MySpace website where I can meet people and get to know my competition (a.k.a. the American Gladiators). You can go to it here:
Sorry I didn't make another article yesterday, I was working on a video for you guys. I know that you guys are learning a lot from my articles and pictures, but I thought that since we have all this high tech computer stuff, we might as well use it!
The secret to training is two things: explosion and surprise.
First of all, when you explode into your workouts, you get them done faster. Faster equals better, that's rule number one. Watch how, in the video, I have perfect balance. You may not be able to use the ball if you're weak or a lady or both, so start out using your sofa. Anyway, great balance allows me to really pop my elbow when I'm exploding. When you do this workout right, you get the benefit of really working the elbow and also your chest. The harder that the weight hits you in the chest, the more ready you're gonna be when a Gladiator tries to kick your butt, or, in this case, your chest. Pain equals gain, that's also part of rule number one.
The second thing about training is number two. That's surprise. You have to try and beat your muscles and bones the way that Patton beat those Asian fellas in World War I. How did he do that? Surprise, of course! He didn't just waltz into China and start throwing grenades! No, he sneaked into China and started throwing grenades! Anyway, nothing beats the element of surprise, except maybe explosion, which is why they are both so important. If you do it right, the muscles in your chest and elbow are really gonna hurt, but that's okay, because that means you're doing it right.
Enjoy the video, guys. I hope it doesn't make you too strong though, because the competition to be the next American Gladiator is pretty darn stiff as it is!
I know that if you are reading my website, you are probably a big fan of American Gladiators the show as well as my American Gladiators website (this website). Well, by now you know that I'm 52 and that I've been training real hard to make it as the next American Gladiator. A lot of people think I'm no way gonna be an American Gladiator on account of my being 52, but check out this news from the show:
Okay, if your computer won't click that, let me tell you about it. There's this lady and she's 52 (like me!) and she's gonna be on the show! Now, she's not gonna be a Gladiator and it doesn't look like she's been training that hard, but now nobody can say that 52 years old is too old for American Gladiators. You take this lady and think about how much training I do and now I'm like a shoe in instead of a long shot.
By the way, this lady seems pretty tough, but most of the time I'm like twice as fast as ladies at my gym and way, way stronger. While they're wasting their time on treadmills, I'm throwing down beers and working my elbows, neck and lower back AT THE SAME TIME! Ladies are great for raising kids but I don't know if they make the best Gladiators because I don't think they're training right. Was Nitro a lady? Was Gemini a lady? I don't think so! So, if this lady can make it plus me being a dude, I feel like I'll probably make it and also be great.
Now, that's the kind of math you can set your watch to. Bring it on!
Today is the birthday or America, which is one of the most important birthdays in the world. Aside from Jesus' birthday, it might be the most important day on the planet. If Jesus was born on the fourth of July, I don't even know what would happen because everyone would probably party way too much. But I don't think that's possible because I'm pretty sure Jesus came before Julius Caesar and that's why July is called that anyway. I'm a bit of a history buff, if you didn't know that.
So, nobody expected me to be training today on account of how it's a holiday, but check this out: I'm gonna train today anyway! Here's the thing, the Fourth is filled with crap like eating burgers and drinking beers and lighting off fireworks. To me that seems like all I have to do is throw in a couple of sit ups and I've got my protein, carbs and exercise all in one day, plus I get to celebrate the birth of the greatest country in the world!
Let's face it, nothing is more American than American Gladiators and nothing is more American than the Fourth of July. Actually, I guess one of those has to be a little more American than the other because they can't both be the most American, but that's not important right now. What's important is that this Fourth of July, I'll be doing the most American thing ever on the most American day ever: training to become an American Gladiator!
This is where I shine. While everyone else is partying, I'll be slamming beers and chowing down on some burgers like a true athlete. No mercy, no days off, train hard, train more; that's my motto!
hey guys. I think I might have train we too had to ight. I had pike four burgers and like twelve or thirteen beers tonight. For cards. Carbs. Okay. I'm tired. No more training tonight.
I know that when I gave this post this crazy title you were probably thinking about that movie where Denzel went ape-crapola on everybody only the Russian guys killed him at the end. That movie was awesome! Remember the part when they went into that really scary neighborhood and there were all those pigeons? What was that about?
Anyway, I've been training all day, so I called this post "Training Day" because of that. I have to be in tiptop condition to compete with the Gladiators, so that's why I spent the whole day training. I also ate some steak for protein, some fries for carbs and like seven beers for carbs and more energy. I know that you need protein for muscles and carbs for the energy for your muscles, so I figure that I'd better keep pretty strict on this diet.
I don't want all of you guys trying to be the next American Gladiator too, but I also know that America has too many fat kids, so I thought I'd do a pretty big solid for everyone reading my blog by posting my training pics so you guys can get in shape too.
This is me gearing up for a workout. You might think that this looks like my living room. Well, you'd be right! First rule of training: you've got to be comfortable! I am most comfortable in my living room and in my workout clothes. You'll notice that this simple red t-shirt has been upgraded (or, as I like to say, Treshed out) to look more like an American Gladiator outfit. Let's just say I know a guy!
I like to call this exercise "the Tresh curl" because it's like a regular curl only TRESHED OUT! By sitting on this giant ball thing, you really get your lower back going. If it doesn't burn in your lower back, you're not doing it right. Try leaning forward more. Also, a big factor in strength is speed. Use weights that are heavy enough to feel it but light enough so that you can really swing your arms fast. Remember, elbows are like muscles: if they're not hurting, you're not doing it hard enough. No pain, no gain!
Booyah! This one is for the back of your arm muscles. Again, use the ball and keep your legs straight so that you're really using your whole body. To avoid getting a stomach ache from all the beers, make sure the weight is on your lower back again. A strong back is the backbone of a strong Gladiator!
That's all the pics I have right now. I'll see you guys tomorrow!
PS: Travis told me that you can click on my pictures to see them bigger. Try that because I don't want anyone doing these exercises wrong.
Hey, I'm Wyatt and one time when I was drunk, I lifted up the back end of a truck. You can ask the dude in the truck if you don't believe me. I don't know his name, but I'm pretty sure he goes by "the guy who probably pissed himself when Wyatt jacked up his truck big time" now because that name is about fifty times cooler than almost every other name out there. Also, it definitely happened. Anyway, it was then that I realized that I'm probably one of the strongest dudes on the planet and that I should be the next American Gladiator.
The thing about American Gladiators is that those guys are really really strong too and could probably pick up a truck without drinking all those beers. That's what probably keeps any regular Joe Anybody from trying out for American Gladiators. Well, not me. I know that if I train real hard and drink a lot of beers I can definitely be one of the strongest guys around and definitely strong enough to tango with the dudes on American Gladiators.
The reason that an athlete like myself is even wasting time on this website is because I know that the the odds are against me. I'm no fool. I'm 52 years old and I know that most people don't think that a guy my age could possibly compete with the Gladiators they got now, but that's why I'm doing this website. My nephew, Travis is like a goddamn whiz kid on this computer stuff and he's been giving me a hand with all the bells and whistles and even the grammar. I have to admit, this website is pretty smart because it knows whenever I spell a word wrong! So, I figure since kids love websites now, I could probably get a whole bunch of people to see my website and then they'd know about all my skills and then they'd support me to be on the show.
So, get ready, America because I'm Wyatt Tresh and I'm gonna be the next American Gladiator! Also, I'm gonna keep posting stuff on this website like more posts and pictures and stuff, so stay tuned!
My name is Wyatt and I've always been a huge American Gladiators fan. Or, at least, I have been since the show started. I'm gonna be the next American Gladiator because I've been training like a maniac for WEEKS!
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