Independence Day

Today is the birthday or America, which is one of the most important birthdays in the world. Aside from Jesus' birthday, it might be the most important day on the planet. If Jesus was born on the fourth of July, I don't even know what would happen because everyone would probably party way too much. But I don't think that's possible because I'm pretty sure Jesus came before Julius Caesar and that's why July is called that anyway. I'm a bit of a history buff, if you didn't know that.

So, nobody expected me to be training today on account of how it's a holiday, but check this out: I'm gonna train today anyway! Here's the thing, the Fourth is filled with crap like eating burgers and drinking beers and lighting off fireworks. To me that seems like all I have to do is throw in a couple of sit ups and I've got my protein, carbs and exercise all in one day, plus I get to celebrate the birth of the greatest country in the world!

Let's face it, nothing is more American than American Gladiators and nothing is more American than the Fourth of July. Actually, I guess one of those has to be a little more American than the other because they can't both be the most American, but that's not important right now. What's important is that this Fourth of July, I'll be doing the most American thing ever on the most American day ever: training to become an American Gladiator!

This is where I shine. While everyone else is partying, I'll be slamming beers and chowing down on some burgers like a true athlete. No mercy, no days off, train hard, train more; that's my motto!